One of the tenets of the my diet is no caffeine. “Gads!” you say. “How can I live?” Sometimes I wonder myself. No coffee? That’s almost as good as just sucking out my blood. But I’ve stuck with it.

Yesterday my wife was nice enough to pick up some decaf coffee.

Mmmm…coffee.

So this morning I pulled out the grinder, ground the beans, and threw them in the espresso maker. Some hissing and whissing later I was the proud owner of a cup of decaf coffee love.

Mmmm…coffee.

So I added my artificial sweetener, a little steamed milk and I was all set. I sat down at my computer and opened my weblog to write this mornings piece when I went to take a sip.

Mmmm…coffee.

The aroma was heaven. It looked beautiful. Tan on top and rich black underneath. I moved my lips to the cup gently imbibing my first taste of the precious brew.

Mmmm….ack!

Pbbbbtttttt! I nearly sprayed coffee all over my monitor. What the hell was this stuff? It sure wasn’t coffee. It may smell like coffee and it may look like coffee, but it tasted like something that’d been strained through a pair of old, scooter stained underwear (sorry for the mental image but I had to get the point across). Now I know why people ordering the decaf coffee at Starbucks always look so pissed off. They know what’s coming!

One cup of decaf coffee, down the drain.

On a side note, the decaf coffee was good for something. It cleared the drain which has been clogged for a number of weeks. That oughta tell you something.

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